Friday, May 16, 2014

About Beauty and Why I Gave Up On It

I am not what beauty products and tv shows would refer as beautiful in their campaign. Dark skin, curly hair, too wide eyes, big round face, wide forehead are not listed in the stereotypical features of beauty. At least that was the trend during the first 20 years of my life (still apply for most of them nowadays, though).

Some of you might think it's ironic that a supermodel was who make me finally understand that I am indeed beautiful. But it was Tyra Banks and her American Next Top Model who showed me that women who look like me could be approved as very beautiful by those who are most critical about visual beauty.

And when I believe I'm beautiful, I decided to cover it.

I am a muslimah (feminine noun for "someone whose faith is Islam"). In Quran, muslimahs are instructed to cover their heads with veils (khimar) and their bodies with loose clothes (hijab). However, I don't wear them only for Allah. I wear them also for myself and all women in this world.

In the brink of my decision, I asked myself: will I fail the women's fight for freedom to express themselves by limiting my fashion choices?

And I remembered that there's a much more important cause.

Anorexia and bulimia nervosa haunt those with extreme wish to be thinner--because they too often hear that they can't be beautiful without being thin (or skinny). My friend told me about a girl with great body had become sick because her boyfriend's request for diet. My other friend told me that her own mother asked her to achieve more weight loss than her goal (when I already saw her as tall, thin, and stunning). My one other friend developed heartburn (maag) during her effort to eat less.

I don't want anyone see me and be inspired to be thinner. I don't want any parent see me and think that they should ask their daughters to be thinner.

I can tell you more about too much money spent on fashion and beauty salons, too much danger follows when beauty products are applied. And what about cosmetic surgery that is trending in some countries?

I don't want to make even the slightest contribution that push women to fulfill what the material world demands us in order to look beautiful.

That is what matters most for me.

Every one of us IS beautiful. I want us to believe that without unnecessary, even dangerous, efforts for anyone's approval. A smile and a good heart--that's enough.

To be myself, to be yourself, is enough.


  1. I think you are beauty enough. Maybe just my opinion and my taste is like that, hahah.

  2. Hati yang cantik Insya Allah akan memancar keluar sehingga penampilan kita pun jd cantik. Rawatlah wajah dan tubuh semata2 sebagai bentuk rasa syukur kpd sang pencipta yg telah menciptakan qt dg sebaik2 bentuk :)

    1. setuju, mba, cukup perawatan untuk kebersihan dan kesehatan :D


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